Life with the Tiarks
Agnes Tiarks kept a diary throughout her life at Foxbury, from 1877 until 1923. Though sometimes the entries are brief and somewhat cryptic, we are still able to create a sense of life at Foxbury. She was kind but absent-minded and even her obituary noted that ‘her left hand knew not what her right hand did’, so we need to take some of her recollections with that in mind.
The young Tiarks family
Henry and Agnes married in 1862. They already had six children, Margaret, Alice, Harry, Edith, Frank and Herman, before they moved to Foxbury. In their new house they completed their family, with five more girls, Nellie, Agnes, Sophie, Mattie and finally Rika who was born at Foxbury in 1883. It appears to have been a loving family, with Agnes doting on her children. Her diaries record their illnesses, broken limbs, successes and triumphs, their pets and their friends. It also records the death of their eldest son in 1893, an event which all but broke his parents’ hearts. In 1890 Margaret, the eldest daughter, was married and left home, to be followed by her brothers and five of her sisters over the next few years. Some lived locally, and all would visit regularly to stay for a few days or even weeks with their own growing families.
While young, the children were taught at home in the house schoolroom, originally the library. It is an indication of the family’s philanthropic nature that these classes were also attended by other local children including those of the families who worked on the estate. Even after her own children had grown up, Agnes allowed the schoolroom to continue for the children on the estate and nearby, with Agnes and daughter Sophie often taking on the role of teacher. Later two of the boys went on to public school, and Herman went on to Oxford. The girls did not.
In addition to Henry and Agnes’ own children, the house was a focal point for their wider families. Agnes had two extended families of her own, since she had been adopted as a child, while Henry was one of five children, all of whom had large families. As a result it was a rare week when some relative or other was not a house guest, and indeed from time to time some became almost permanent residents. Henry’s brother John moved there from Loxton after his wife died, until he himself died in 1902. As time went on, their family members, particularly their own children, brought their friends to the house, and when they themselves married, they would regularly come to visit and bring their own ever extending families. Indeed many of Agnes’ 23 grandchildren were born at Foxbury. The Tiarks obviously found it difficult to part from old trusted servants, and provided lifetime accommodation for at least two of their servants, after they had retired. Harriet Hide, the family nurse, had been taken on by the family in 1866, and was still living at Foxbury, and occasionally working, when Agnes died. She died, two months after Agnes, at the age of 83.
Clearly Foxbury was a hectic place for most of the time, and one can see why twenty servants will have been kept busy. They also had to look after the many family pets: ‘Margaret’s black greyhound, Raglan…Rabbits and guinea pigs on the lawn…New donkey with foal for Mattie…Two parrots came…Persian kittens’, and at times this got rather fraught ‘Wasp[the dog] had a fit and was killed – my fear of hydrophobia’.
There were times when relative quiet descended on the house. In the earlydays, Henry and his wife would take up to three holidays each year. The longest would be to Europe, without the younger children, covering over the years most of the itinerary of the old Grand Tour. Their second holiday would be to the Kent seaside during six weeks or so of the summer months. Their third holiday was to the West Country, taking in Devon, Somerset and surrounding areas. Eventually they bought a property there, Loxton Lodge, which they then visited throughout the year.
Entertainment
Agnes was always happy to be at home, ready to throw herself into family and social life at Chislehurst. She was part of the circle of Victorian women who would call on their neighbours and acquaintances, usually in the afternoons, and in turn she would be called upon on a regular basis.
Her diaries list a litany of such regular visits, often with one or more of her daughters. She and Henry regularly received invitations to dine at neighbours, and in turn gave dinners, often for twelve or so at a time. Many of these included their neighbours in Kemnal Road. We occasionally get a glimpse of how well the dinner went (‘Mar 9 1882: Dinner at Mrs Forbes– Manor Park Road – dull’), and also the entertainment that was part of the evening (‘May 11 – Mr Ries. Dinner Party – Fosters, Simons, Worsleys, Adams, Sewells – I played minuet.’). Agnes lists the people she dined with,so we see some of the interaction of the households both in Kemnal Road, and across Chislehurst at that time. There were numerous tea parties for younger children, and dances for the older ones (‘Jan 19 1898: Fancy dress dance at Camden House. Mattie – Egypt, Rika – Britannia’) and for the adults. Foxbury was very much part of Chislehurst society. The servants were not ignored. They were invited to join the family for drinks on Christmas Eve, for prayers and hymns on Sunday mornings, and were taken to the pantomime each January. They were also taken to events such as the Crystal Palace Exhibition: ‘Feb 7 1882: Servants to Crystal Palace in ‘bus with three horses’.
As Henry and Agnes grew older, and particularly after Henry died, there were fewer social events mentioned. Most dinners then were with family or close friends, and there are few signs of Agnes being invited to dine on her own. But there was a least one garden party each year, to which 250 or so people would be invited, and an afternoon in the summer for the Sunday School children. Later daughters Sophie and Agnes would organise events for the Boys Club, the local Scouts, and injured soldiers from Frognal, Holbrook and other local hospitals during the First World War years.
The family were very interested in the new Victorian inventions. Various makes of gramophones are mentioned in Agnes’ diaries in the 1890s, and vacuum cleaners were purchased as soon as they were invented. Telephones were installed in the house. Frank is said to have been the first in Chislehurst to own a motor car, and by 1914 all the children had their own cars. One of Agnes’ loves was astronomy, and she had telescopes installed at the house and at Loxton. It was she who introduced her grandson Henry to astronomy, a hobby which he pursued throughout his long life.
Music was an important part of the family’s life. They would hire a local band to play at the lighting of the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, and again on Harry’s birthday, Jan 2nd. There were at least two Broadwood pianos in the house, and the family acquired the latest of the different gramophone players developed in the 1890s and early 20th Century. It is clear that music making was taken seriously, with some children quite proficient. Harry, the eldest son, appears to have been a very capable violinist, and Agnes herself had regular lessons and accompanied her children and also dinner guests who are reported as having sung after dinner (‘May 4 1886: Dinner party – played ‘Chanson d’Amour’. Balmes sang.’). In their early married life Henry and Agnes would regularly go to the Opera and to concerts, the Monday Pops being a regular feature at the Queens Hall in London. At Christmas time, there would be dancing, (‘Dec 25 1913: The servants are dancing with new gramophone. 15 at dinner. Dancing after dinner.’), although there are few references to Agnes herself dancing.
The family and their guests seem to have enjoyed their drink, according to the state of the wine cellar in 1911. There were 1,850 bottles in the cellars, including 269 bottles of champagne, 82 bottles of spirits, 778 bottles of port, sherry or Madeira, and 721 bottles of still wines, mainly clarets and hocks.
Involvement in Chislehurst life
The Tiarks were well known, and by all accounts well liked, in Chislehurst society. Henry was a benefactor of the Church, particularly at St Nicholas’. The young couple had some initial difficulty with the high church nature of the worship at St Nicholas. Before they had moved to Chislehurst they paid a visit to the church, and Agnes recorded in her diary for July 11 1875: ‘Mr Murray’s Church – bowing and crossings’. But they obviously overcome their concerns, since Henry was appointed Church Warden, a position he retained for 25 years until his death. He also provided financial support to the Church, assisting, for example, in the founding of the Men’s Club in Bull Lane, now Easden’s. Henry also contributed to the building costs of the Annunciation Church, and of Christ Church in Lubbock Road, both of which the family would attend from time to time. He was on the Parish Council, a founding member of the Chislehurst Conservators, a trustee of the Cottage Hospital in Orpington, and President of the Chrysanthemum Society, at which annual show he was often a prize winner.
Outside the church, the family was involved in other aspects of village life. Agnes’ diaries relate how their children performed at the regular concerts and plays given at the Village Hall, ‘Dec 29 1894: Edith, Frank Herman and Nell acting at Village Hall’. They also attended events there on a regular basis. Agnes also notes the celebrations in the village that marked events such as coronations, war news or the Queen’s Jubilee in 1897: ‘June 20: Jubilee of the Queen’s reign. Jun 22: Chislehurst schools and village enfete’. Special mention must be made here of Sophie Tiarks, who appeared tireless in hersupport and involvement in good causes. She helped found and then ran the village Boy’s Club in her early 20’s (‘Oct 16 1905: Henry opened new Boys’ Club. Oct 17: Sophie’s Club began’) and later the Boy Scouts Troop. She was also involved with a range of charitable works organized through the church, but most remarkable of all was her work after 1914 with the Red Cross in caring for the injured troops who were sent to Chislehurst: ‘Oct 14: Sophie summoned at midnight to prepare for wounded. She and others scrubbing Holbrook House. They arrived at 10am. Beds, blankets, tables. Oct 15: Sophie to decorate church and then to her Red Cross work at Holbrook’. Agnes also records how Sophie made herself ill as a result, at one stage being out of action for a month. She was later made Commandant of the local Red Cross Association.
Transport
We know that Frank was one of the first people in Chislehurst to own a car. He acquired it in May 1901, and over the next fifteen years all of the children had their own cars. At one stage it looked as though even Agnes was able to drive a car, though it is probable that she was driving a horse-drawn brougham, when she reports that she was not the safest of drivers: ‘Jul 16 1918: Driving to station with Matty, I ran over a small boy’s foot.’ Agnes was a week short of her 78th birthday.
Henry had never owned or driven a motor car, though he had enjoyed being driven by Frank. He was a man of the horse-drawn era, and at the time of his death the household had seven different carriages and six carriage horses. These were:
- Brougham (a closed four wheeled carriage, with driver’s compartment),
- Station brougham (a smaller and faster version),
- Landau1 (an open topped carriage with hoods that could be opened and closed),
- Omnibus (a closed vehicle with bench seats for up to twelve people),
- Wagonnette (an open version of the omnibus),
- Sleigh, and
- Luggage Cart.
Later Agnes had a pony cart for her use, which with only two wheels was light and fast, and she was still using this up to the time of her death.
Weather at Foxbury
Perhaps the area most frequently commented on by Agnes in her diaries is the weather. She kept rain gauges and records of temperatures, and on most days in her diaries she notes the state of the weather. The winters were colder with significantly more snow than today, hence the need by the family for a horse drawn sleigh. Snow would often be recorded as early as October, and as late as April, and would lie for long periods. There are many references to skating on the frozen ponds during the winter months, and it would appear to have been a feature of the social calendar to be seen there when the opportunity arose. Agnes had an observatory built near the house, where she observed the stars and comets, including the arrival of Halley’s Comet in 1910.
There were many long hot spells during the summer months. Agnes saw these as something of a burden, though when the weather was hot, the family and very often their guests seem to have been very ready to take the opportunity to bathe in the lakes at Foxbury, or later at Frank’s pool at Woodheath.
Health and illness at Foxbury
Their wealth provided some protection against illness and disease for the members of the family, and indeed their servants, and it is remarkable that all Agnes’ eleven children survived childhood, and that she had only one still-born child, in 1871. But the family still suffered. Henry and Agnes succumbed regularly to sore throats and tooth-ache, which would last for several days. She would refer often to Henry as suffering from quinsy (an abscess between the back of the tonsil and the wall of the throat), which would need to be lanced. Over the years all the children would suffer from measles, german measles, mumps, and scarlet fever. Agnes records tonsils being removed, and regular visits to the dentist.
Harry appears to have been a particularly sickly child, with a string of ailments, though this may be because, as the eldest son, he was particularly doted on by his mother. Herman was also prone to illness, and in adult life had a very bad attack of pleurisy, which incapacitated him for many months in 1915. There were also a number of accidents in the family, the most serious of which was Herman’s broken arm, after falling off his horse Beauty in September 1882 when he was only six years old. It took a long time to set, and had to be rebroken and set again. Herman refers to it in the first page of his reminiscences, commenting that he was never able to bend his arm at the elbow after the accident. If it hadn’t been for his mother’s insistence that he should keep the arm it would have been taken off. Is this why he never joined the military at any stage in his life?
Henry’s death
Henry retired in December 1905, after 57 years at Schröders. He was by now 73 years old, and had been asking to retire for a number of years. Now that Frank was established in the partnership, Baron Schröder felt able to give his consent. Previously Henry had been a healthy man, with few signs of illness other than the perennial sore throats and colds that scourged the family. After his retirement, however, there are regular references in Agnes’ diaries about Henry’s health, and while Henry continued to be active in local matters, and able to travel to Loxton regularly and take other holidays, there are signs that his health was declining. By the beginning of 1911, Henry was being attended on a regular basis by the family doctor, often daily, and in June a male nurse, Mr Brookes, was appointed to provide daily support to Henry. That summer Henry found the heat very difficult, and fell into regular depressions. He died peacefully on 18 October 1911, surrounded by his family.
Under the terms of her husband’s will, Agnes was granted a life interest in Foxbury and Loxton Lodge, (with Frank holding the reversion), plus an annuity of £9,000, after tax, to cover her expenses. After a few small personal gifts (but no legacies to any of the causes that he had supported during his lifetime) the remainder of Henry’s £693,000 estate was divided between his ten surviving children, with the boys getting two-twelfths each, and the girls one-twelfth (around £58,000).
By now all but three of the children had moved out of Foxbury. Frank lived nearby in Chislehurst, and visited his mother daily when he could. Margaret lived in Orpington, and often visited. Alice, Edith, Matty and Rika lived further away and visited less frequently, but would bring their families to Foxbury at least once a year. Herman lived near Loxton, though he visited regularly, as much to be with Frank as with his mother. Sophie, Agnes and Nellie were still at home, unmarried, but by 1917 Nellie had married and left home, leaving only three members of the family at the house.
The Great War at Foxbury
The outbreak of war in 1914 was very difficult for the Tiarks family, given their German heritage, and business links. It also brought many changes to life at Foxbury. In short, everything changed. Family and friends were caught up in the war, while servants were called up, and were increasingly difficult to replace; food was in short supply, and rationing was introduced; the estate had to be converted to produce as much food as possible, and government inspections and regular reporting were required for the first time; shortages led to inflation, increasing costs, and the value of Agnes’ inheritance from her husband declined. For the first time ever, Foxbury was at risk from bombing raids, which Agnes witnessed from the house.
After the war
From the remaining diaries in the few years following the end of the war and up to her death in 1923, it is clear that the world was now a different place for Agnes. It was very difficult to get and retain good servants, and it was with some relief that Agnes surrendered her management of the house to her daughter Aggie. In the last few years Agnes noted the comings-and goings of her family and old faithful servants, with whom she now seemed more at ease than with her grand neighbours. Agnes suffered a stroke on the morning of Feb 2 1923, and died three days later. She had lived at Foxbury for 46 years.